Is Love A Plague? Is It All Saint Valentine’s Fault?

I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. ~Author Unknown

Saint Valentine was the patron saint of the plague, and of lovers. I wonder if there’s a connection there? Maybe love is a plague? That would explain a lot. It would especially explain some of the weird and wonderful messages people feel the need to publish in papers on this day, for all the world to see. For example, here are a few from my local paper this morning…..

Valentine Messages

“U will always be beautiful in my eyes. Lov U heaps and heaps. From U No HOO !!!”

“I am the frog who took a long time to become your prince.”

“GRANDMA ! How about some huffing and puffing on Valentine’s Day? With all my love, the Big Bad Wolf.”

“Miss Moo. The moment I laid eyes on you my heart pounded……Love, your Mister Moo Choo.”

“I love you more than all the bags of sand in the world. You should wear your undies on the outside because you’re my Superman. You is da fixin’ man……Your Princess xxx”

“SWEETS – I love you the mostest. Today I win. Love forever, your gorgeous man xxx”

“To my spunky sex god. Love you so much baby. Yours and forever. Kitty Kat, MWAH !”

“To my Toy Boy

I will love you forever and a day. The Older Woman.”

“I was meant to write a rhyme for you, inspired by the Bard. But with housework, kids and other stuff, it all just got too hard.”

“How do I love thee? Let me count the tatooes.”

“With love SCOTTY.. Happy 17th birthday man. Not bad for a Jack Russell, eh? From your carer, Tony.”

“Dear Pidgeon Waters. I love you with all my heart. Love, Miniature Noodles.”

“Are you sure you’re not a broom? ‘Cause you’ve swept me off my feet. Three years together, n I love you more than ever! My heart n soul for eva, Smiffy.”

“Holly Waffles. You’re all I need. Love always, Mum.”

What Is Love?

So what is love? This thing most humans search for, long for, fight for, sometimes even die for?

It has been described as a kind of madness, a sought after cardiac and blood pressure problem that affects the brain and distorts language. In some cases it has been described as a fire in the heart, but that often turns out to be heartburn. Dizziness and giddiness are common symptoms of love, but get the blood pressure checked just in case it’s gone up a bit too high. It can also cause eyes to become bright and misty, affecting eyesight. Everything assumes a rose colour. In extreme cases, a type of blindness can occur. There are certain people who claim to hear bells, but they would be well advised to get their ears checked.

Love softens the nature (and some say the brain), Judgment is weakened, reason diminished, memory fails completely. It cannot be cured by herbs, or anything else for that matter. It is an incurable malady that all of us strive for.

You cannot buy love, it is free and available to all people, rich or poor, old or young, beautiful or plain, any religion, any colour, anywhere. It makes sensible people silly. It makes poets out of princes and of paupers. It creates chaos in previously ordered lives, causes crying over soppy songs, melodies and for no reason at all except that the sun is shining.

It can cause normal people to behave very strangely, say stupid things (see above messages), wander around in a daze, smile a lot, send heart-shaped chocolates and silly cupid cards to other previously normal people on a certain day in February every year.

Yes I think love might be a plague.

We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. ~Author Unknown

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